“What is not started today is never finished tomorrow.”

This is actually my second post today which is sort of ridiculous but I don't care. I was frustrated about something that happened earlier so I needed to get this out. It's a confession of dreams I guess, or something like that.
  The thing is, ever since I was a little kid I've wanted to be a singer. I've wanted to tour and I've wanted to put on a show. I dreamed about getting awards and writing songs. I just knew it's what I wanted, & it hasn't changed since I was 4.
   I should have picked up the guitar, I should have told everyone that I was going to be a star and I should have written songs by now. Instead though, I was too afraid. I thought that no one would take me seriously and that I wasn't good enough so I didn't try hard enough, I just gave up. Even as I got older and a little more confident I was still afraid to come out and say "I want to be a singer, a musician, a writer, a performer." I was too afraid to admit to my only real dreams. So I tried to do what I loved by trying to start or get into bands with my friends, I tried to write and learn the ways but I always felt that people thought I wasn't good enough to actually do it so I gave up.
 I keep trying. I keep dabbling into the music with family and friends but it still seems that I'm treating it like a possible hobby on the side of whatever I'm going to do. I can't live this way and I know it, it's the only thing that will make me truly content with myself. It's my escape and I want to learn more, I want to see more, I want to hear more and I really want to do more.
  I'm well aware that I have a very long way to go, I have things within myself that I need to resolve so that I can be comfortable with saying these things out loud. Even this post will be hard to publish, but maybe I'm wrong, maybe I'll have more supporters than I think.

"I guess that’s that, but when a dream seems impossible, it’s simply a matter of you telling yourself that you could be the first to do it. Just because it hasn’t been done, that doesn’t render you incapable. You decide when you’re going to begin." -Ifeoma ( a friend)


I begin now. I begin to believe that my dreams are relevant and I'll seek refuge in my voice, I'll move with my words and I'll show the world (big or small) that Shaina Danielle can create and dispatch her love despite a lifetime of being afraid to do so. Tonight I'm declaring my belief in myself and I'm humbly asking for the wisdom and support of others. This is no longer a day dream that has lasted for over a decade, but goal.