Last night I was nearly tempted to make a post detailing all the things going on in my head, but the constant flashing and wondering in my head held me back. I'm not sure why everything seems to come together like this, but it always does.
I'm usually caught up in panic, telling myself terrible things without a real reason. Visions in my head of not being able to cope with the pressure so I just try to claw, scrape, slice, bite, maybe even pull my way out of myself and escape. Have you ever sat in class with a pair of sharp shears pressed into the palm of your hand and dragging because you can't focus on anything? Maybe you've shot up out of bed shaking and crying, tearing your room apart so that you could find anything that would change your state of mind and help you escape your own head. Do you understand the incredible victory of not eating for a week because it's the only self control you've been able to harvest?
I hate those days when human interaction is absolutely terrifying.
I'll probably always have a hard time explaining it.
No comments:
Post a Comment