Firsts thing's first, I started seeing a therapist and was diagnosed officially with Bipolar 1 with psychotic features. The whole psychotic features part was added because of "Disassociation" or "Hallucinations"... or you know, whatever.
During my therapy session today we did this trippy meditation stuff to practice being calm and controlling my reactions. Something to do with directing blood flow to your hands and then to your face, it was badass. My therapist seems like an alright guy, he talks about Buddhist monks and used the word "esoteric" then started rambling on about finding my place in the universe.
In other news...
(The greatest woman ever) Suzi did a soul analysis for me recently & it was so great I had to share a bit of it here.
"You see a lot of pain and suffering in the world and that pains you on a personal level, and you feel like you can feel the pain of the universe, that it manifests through you, tortures you. This drives you to create art to ease this inner turmoil, to express outwardly what's going on inside. Despite learning how to cope with being a naturally rather shy girl by teaching yourself social skills, you are naturally rather shy, and you connect most to other people through art and through words, which you put together as if they were art themselves. As mentioned above, you also connect to people through helping them, through a shared mutual pain, and you feel best understood in the context of supporting someone who needs your help. You'll find a lot of your relationships center on you showing affection for someone else by giving them things--your time, practical things they need, rides in your car, ect. You are a very down to earth, centered, and practical person, who is like a rock to those around you. They can count on and depend on you, because you are very solid and straightforward. You show affection in tangible, real world ways, by being there when someone needs you, or buying them food for their kitchen, instead of buying them diamond rings and roses (which you feel are nice, but relatively useless, and don't really mean anything). In love, you are the support for your lover, and you like to help him do everything--make phone calls, make appointments, be involved a lot in his life. You like to make yourself indispensable so he can't function without you, while he doesn't even realize this. Trust me girl, I do the same thing! You're not the airy, superficial lover. You are the exact OPPOSITE of that!"
She couldn't be more right in describing me.
No comments:
Post a Comment